


until you come back home

by cloudtwentythree



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009, M/M, Pining, Smut, long distance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 17:57:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17729954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudtwentythree/pseuds/cloudtwentythree
Summary: it's 2009, distance sucks, and phil's probably (definitely) in love.





	until you come back home

“Dan… Dan, I’m so close, I’m gonna fucking—”

He can’t even finish his sentence; it ends in a choked-out moan as he rubs his own thumb firmly over the tip of his lubed-up cock. He’s really great at getting himself off these days. He has to be—he’s gotta tide himself over somehow while Dan’s not here, which is far more often than he’d like. Dan’s even better at getting him off, he knows that, but he kills the thought of it before it goes too far. The last thing he needs is to start pining while he’s trying to jerk off.

“Mm, I know.” He hears Dan, breathy and quiet and distant, urging him on from 300 miles away. “Do it. Cum for me.” He recognizes the strangled, desperate edge to his voice, and knows that Dan’s close to cumming too. With his eyes closed, he can almost make himself believe that he’s right here with him. Except if that were the case, he’d be fucking Dan’s mouth right now instead of his own hand. Dan’s perfect, perfect mouth—all soft and wet and warm and always so fucking eager to please. He wants it so bad.

He tells him as much. “I wish you could suck me off right now.”

“Fuck.” He hears Dan stifle a groan. “Me too. I want you. So much.”

He’s never gonna get used to that, he reckons—Dan wanting him. Dan, the most wonderful person in the world in every way, actually wanting him, feels too good to be real. That’s another thought he has to kill, before it kills his hard-on first.

He squeezes the base of his cock before he opens his eyes, so that what he has waiting for him doesn’t make him instantly cum on sight. It almost does anyway.

Because Dan’s entire naked body is on display for him, all long and lean and perfect. With his legs spread shamelessly wide, his chest rising and falling fast and unevenly, his head resting against the wall behind him and his eyes half-lidded and his bottom lip caught between his teeth, one hand flying over his cock and the other fisted in his bedsheets.

“You’re so fucking hot.” He murmurs, surprising even himself with how deep and gravelly his voice can get when he’s this turned on. That’s the effect that Dan has on him. Apparently he has that effect on Dan, too, because he lets out a low whine and looks at him pleadingly.

“Fuck, keep going.” Dan tells him, and he pumps his cock slowly a couple times, as if that’ll make him last longer. He can already tell that it won’t, but it was worth a shot. He speeds up again, and Dan sighs in satisfaction. “Yeah, like that. Don’t stop. Wanna watch you cum.”

Phil’s not one to deny Dan anything that he wants, so he stops trying to delay the inevitable. He shuts his eyes again and lets his head fall back against his shoulders and strokes himself the way that he knows he likes best, the way Dan does it, alternating speeds and pressures and an occasional twist. He imagines Dan’s hands and mouth all over him, listens to Dan’s little noises through his laptop speakers and pictures himself fucking them out of him, remembers his tightness and warmth and the way he clings to him, remembers how it feels to hold him close and bury himself deep inside. He feels that familiar heat pooling in the pit of his stomach, feels his balls draw up tight, bites back what would otherwise be an embarrassingly loud moan.

“Fuck, Phil.” Dan whispers. “Fuck. Cum for me. _Please_.”

That _please_ goes straight to his cock and sends him over the edge and he cums hard, thick white spurts spilling over his fist and onto his lower belly. He strokes himself all the way through it, sloppily, even manages a couple squeezes at the tip to make sure he’s got it all out before he has to fully collapse. His arms fall limply at his sides as his entire body slumps against the wall, and he allows himself a couple moments to bask in the dull, full-body pulsating of the aftershocks before he opens his eyes. Thankfully, just in time to see Dan’s toes curl and his hand movements go jerky and erratic and his lips mouth what looks like a stream of _fuck, fuckfuckfuck_ before he cums too, with a whimper that gets caught in his throat and his eyes fluttering shut.

He waits patiently for Dan to ride it out. It’s one of his favorite sights. He can practically feel it—Dan’s hot, heavy breaths, the way his heart races, the way he shudders in Phil’s arms and the way his chest heaves against his own, the way that he finishes completely limp and boneless. The image in front of him, and even moreso the memory of what it’s like in person, is almost enough to get him hard again. Almost. It’s a good thing he’s not built for that.

They do that thing they always do when Dan comes down from it and opens his eyes—the bashful gazes and tired smiles and that look that says _you’re amazing, thanks for making me cum,_ before they separately go about their hasty cleanup processes. Then, once they both have their bottles of lube stashed away and their soiled tissues chucked in the bin and their pants tugged back on, they settle back down, laptops positioned by their heads while they lay on their sides and snuggle into their respective pillows since they can’t snuggle into each other.

“That was good.” Phil murmurs after a few quiet moments.

Dan snorts, and it’s somehow adorable. “I’d say better than good.” Phil can tell from his tone that he’s still in that faraway, blissed-out, post-orgasm phase, and he feels a tiny surge of pride at having put him in that state. There’s another brief silence before Dan speaks up again, softer this time. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too.” Phil answers automatically. “So much. All the time.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Obviously.” He raises his eyebrows tiredly. “Is it not obvious?”

“Mm, a bit.” Dan smirks. “Pretty sure I miss you more, though.”

“God, babe. ‘m too tired to play the ‘miss you more’ game.” He groans and stretches his arms out over his head, and when he looks back, Dan’s gaze has gone completely soft. “What?”

“Nothing.” Dan shrugs, and burrows further into his pillow. “I like when you call me babe.”

“I like when you call me babe, too.” Phil sighs. “It makes this whole thing feel more real.”

Dan furrows his brow, a cute little wrinkle forming in the middle of his forehead. “What d’you mean, more real?”

He bites his lip, drawing in a sharp breath through his nose. “I dunno how to explain it. I guess you just feel too good to be true, sometimes. Or at least, you liking me feels too good to be true. Especially when you’re so far away. It’s easy to convince myself that you’re just, like, something I dreamed up as some kind of coping mechanism for being stuck here, alone at my parents’ house with no direction or idea whatsoever for what I’m supposed to do with the rest of my life.”

It’s meant as a joke, but the way Dan’s expression changes tells him that maybe he’s gotten a bit too real with it. “I’m real.” Dan whispers. “Promise. Besides, if one of us is too good to be true, it’s definitely you.”

Coming from anyone else, it’d sound like just another line, but the sincerity in Dan’s eyes lets him know that he really believes it. He loves Dan’s eyes. His pretty brown eyes, so soft and expressive, so warm and beautiful, just like everything else about him. His shitty webcam doesn’t do them any justice, but looking into them right now, he still feels like his heart could absolutely burst.

This is when skyping with Dan gets really hard. He’d thought it was hard back before they’d even met. He’d thought that the hard part was the anticipation of meeting him, the not knowing if Dan felt the same way as Phil did about him, the uncertainty of what they were going to be. Turns out, that was the easy part. The hard part is knowing, now, that Dan wants him. The hard part is knowing how it feels to look into Dan’s eyes in person, knowing how warm his skin is, how silky-smooth his hair feels when he runs his fingers through it, how his lips taste. The hard part is knowing how big and strong his hands are, how amazing he is in bed, what his moans really sound like when he doesn’t have to worry about waking his family up at 4am. The hard part is knowing how safe he feels when they hold each other. The hard part is knowing all of that, and most of the time, not being able to have it.

(The absolute hardest part is knowing that he’s in love, and that he has no idea how or when to say it, but that he can’t possibly say it over a skype call, but he also doesn’t know if he can hold it in much longer.)

“Phil?” Dan’s voice brings him back to reality.

“Right.” He clears his throat a bit. “Sorry.”

Dan pulls his blanket up a bit further over his shoulders and yawns. “You ok?”

“Yeah. Yeah.” He assures him, and shimmies further under his own covers as well. “Just thinking about you. I can’t wait for you to get here.”

Dan smiles, and it reaches his eyes, and Phil feels a very distinct warmth blooming in his chest. Dan smiles a lot, but it’s not always real. He likes making him smile for real. Dan deserves all the happiness and love and everything good in the world, and Phil probably can’t give it all to him, as much as he wants to. But he can at least make him smile.

“I can’t wait either.” He sighs. “One more week.”

“One more week.” Phil repeats. It won’t be as good as spending Christmas with Dan, but he supposes that the days leading up to it will be the next best thing. “It’s supposed to snow, like, a ton. It’ll be pretty.”

“And good for filming Christmas Adventure.” Dan points out.

“That too.” Phil goes quiet again. He knows Dan doesn’t really mind, which is nice. Dan’s one of the very few people that he feels comfortable just sitting in silence with. Fuck, he misses him. Dan’s not even here yet, and Phil’s already thinking about how much it’s gonna hurt to see him leave again. “I kinda hate this.” He mumbles.

Dan seems to read his mind. “The distance?”

Phil nods, and Dan sighs. “Yeah. Me too.”

Now more than ever, he wants to tell Dan that he loves him. He’ll do it this time, he tells himself. When Dan’s here, he’ll tell him. In person. He’ll kiss him and tell him he loves him and pray his heart out that Dan says he loves him too. Something about the way Dan’s looking at him right now tells him that he maybe shouldn’t worry too much about that. But he will anyway.

“It won’t be like this forever.” Is what he says instead. “We’ll be in the same city someday, and then we’ll go on dates all the time, and they’ll be way better than this.”

There’s a glint of amusement in Dan’s eyes. “Oh this is a date, is it?” He asks.

“Isn’t it?” Phil smirks. “What’s a date? Food, sex, and talking? We did the sex, and now we’re doing the talking. You watched me eat half a bag of Haribo earlier. I’d call it a date.”

Dan just laughs, and it turns into another yawn. “You’re an idiot. You’re lucky I like you so much.”

“I like you too.” Phil whispers. “You’re getting sleepy.”

“Yeah.” Dan mumbles, and rubs one of his eyes. “But I wanna keep talking to you.”

He sighs. “I wanna keep talking to you, too. But you’ve got work tomorrow. You don’t wanna be tired and cranky.”

Dan rolls his eyes before he shuts them. “You make me sound like a fussy toddler.”

“Shh. I already feel old compared to you.”

Dan smirks, and manages to crack one eye open. “Rude. I should be making you feel young again.”

“You do, actually.” Phil says quietly, and Dan’s eye slips shut again. Dan does make him feel young. It’s something about falling in love for the first time. He stares at the screen for a little bit longer, sees Dan’s breaths begin to even out.

“Goodnight, Dan.” He whispers.

He’s almost about to close his laptop when he hears Dan’s soft, sleepy voice on the other end. “Stay online, please?”

Phil smiles and nods, even though Dan can’t see. He settles down fully into his bed and turns down the brightness on his screen. _I love you_ is on the tip of his tongue again, but he knows he’ll say it later, at a better time, in a better way.

“Okay.” He whispers instead, and closes his eyes, and lets himself be lulled to sleep by the sound of Dan’s soft, steady breathing.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to everyone who read til the end!
> 
> title comes from i don't wanna live forever by taylor swift & zayn (i'm so sorry)
> 
> [like/reblog](https://iinterruptedbyfireworks.tumblr.com/post/182711382051/until-you-come-back-home-summary-its-2009) or come talk to me on tumblr! [@iinterruptedbyfireworks](https://iinterruptedbyfireworks.tumblr.com/)


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